A scientist from Auckland is gung-ho To potty-train young cows. This pioneer Is not your rocket scientist, although Nitrogenous exhaust fires his career! … Kept locked in their latrine till they can go, Lashed hard with H2O if they can’t wait, Enticed by treacle treats to mind their flow, Forbearing cows soon learn to micturate On artificial grass in their Moo Loo— Research shows human toddlers aren’t as quick At learning where to pee! But pee’s not poo. Can Holstein heifers learn the second trick? … Our prof now dreams of future episodes— When pastured cows use only field commodes!
“‘That fella down under’: Joe Biden forgets Scott Morrison’s name during historic pact announcement” —The Guardian
Thinking today how the English for “blunder”
Happens to rhyme with Australia’s “down under”—
Verily, scarily, how our Joe Biden
Forces the faux pas horizons to widen!
“‘What is this if not magic?’ The Italian man living as a hobbit After building his own version of Middle-earth, Nicolas Gentile has thrown a ‘ring’ into Mount Vesuvius” —The Guardian
The Russians are shooting a movie in space.
No word what its rating will be.
Since neither the cast nor the script will have weight,
I expect it’ll be Zero-G.
“The anonymous text, which concludes with the lines ‘Go on, love me / It does you good,’
was popular across the eastern Roman empire in the second century…” —The Guardian
In both the present
And days of yore
Bards have penned verses
Hoping to score
“Police are responding to an unconfirmed report of a mime assaulting passers-by.” —Citizen.com
He hunts in the square, on the street, in the park,
We don’t know who he is, but he’s one scary clown.
If you watch him perform you could be the next mark
Of this mime spreading chaos and mayhem downtown.
If selected you’re doomed to your hideous fate,
No you won’t hear him coming until it’s too late.
