by Liza McAlister Williams
Farewell to the scion—or scioness—
of metrical verse, to that lioness
whose wry, entertaining admonishment
waylaid us in gales of astonishment,
that mischievous, marvelous polyphone
whose deathless bons mots touched our funny bone.
*Beloved Light contributor Mae Scanlan left us on Feb. 5.
Our winter/spring issue, out soon, will include more on
Mae’s inspiring (and inspired) life.
by Julia Griffin
“Joshua Trump, 11, wakes up a celebrity after dozing off during presidential address.”
—The Guardian
“So the LORD was with Joshua; and his fame was noised throughout all the country.”
—Joshua 6:27
And lo! This day it came to pass
That Joshua was found,
And borne to Jericho (first class)
To hear the Trumpet sound.
Then seven senators arose
And led him to his place,
That all of Israel’s friends and foes
Might mark him face to face.
Now Joshua was wearied sore;
His vigil long he kept,
But when at last he could no more,
It came to pass he slept.
And as he slept the Trumpet blew,
A noise of high renown;
And verily, betwixt the two,
They brought the whole House down.
by Jerome Betts
“Join us in February for our fourth
annual Snowdrop Festival—where you
can visit gardens teeming with one of
the earliest flowering plants of the year.”
—National Gardens Scheme website
The cold rain teeming down for hours
Blots out those pale blooms’ clusters,
The forecast stuck at blustery showers
Relieved by showery blusters.
Don’t urge us out before it’s dry!
Until there’s really no drops,
Best stay indoors and warm, not try
To see some sodden snowdrops!
by Nora Jay
“Billionaire and likely presidential hopeful Howard Schultz doesn’t want people calling him a ‘billionaire’:
… At a book event on Monday, Schultz swapped out the word for the term ‘people of means.’ …
‘All I’m trying to do is one thing: walk in the shoes of the American people,’ he said.”
—Business Insider
Now Mr. H. Schultz is as rich as a czar:
With so many bucks he’s a qualified star;
But all his desire—it’s a strange thing to choose—
Is trying to walk in his countrymen’s shoes.
He’s loaded with money—that’s not in dispute;
The proper descriptor, we’re learning, is moot,
But “person of means” is the one he will use:
Just one of the people, who walks in their shoes.
Of course Mr. Schultz can provide in a lump
The billions required to campaign against Trump,
And thus make the Democrats likely to lose,
While he is out walking in popular shoes.
The people are patient: they watch and don’t rage
As tax-dodgers sit on the minimum wage;
But one thing let’s hope they’ll be slow to excuse
Is Mr. H. Schultz taking walks in their shoes.
by Catherine Chandler
Trump’s unconcerned with Nipple and with Button.
His ersatz mind’s in Mar-a-Lago. Puttin’.
by Julia Griffin
“Emergency services are currently dealing with a single vehicle [collision] on the A381 by the South Milton turn where a car has overturned.
The driver stated he swerved to avoid an octopus. He is currently in custody on suspicion of drug driving.”
—Kingsbridge Police Report
He thought he saw an octopus
Reposing on the road;
He looked again, but not before
He’d too abruptly slowed,
And consequently overturned
And breached the Highway Code.
He thought he saw a kangaroo
Reciting from a text;
He looked again, and found it was
A judge, distinctly vexed,
Who sentenced him to kick the drugs
And change his glasses. Next!
by Ruth S. Baker
“‘It’s a Beatle haircut’: historian claims 15th-century portrait is from the 1960s:
National Gallery’s 1450 portrait by Rogier van der Weyden was created in the 1960s by Eric Hebborn, says art historian.”
—The Guardian
Imagine there’s no fraudsters:
It’s easy if you try;
No crooked sales or hoardsters,
Compelled to sell or buy;
Imagine giving painters
What collectors pay … a …ay
Perhaps some dealer-reamer
Just thought he’d have some fun;
You may say he’s a schemer,
But he’s not the only one.
Imagine I’m a Beatle:
I’ve got a ’60s do;
This scroll is no decretal,
Just songs From Me To You;
Imagine giving paintings
Credit just per se … a …ay
Suppose I’m by a lemur:
I’d still be nicely done;
You may say “art blasphemer!”
But I’m not the only one.
by Nora Jay
“Karl Marx’s London grave vandalised in suspected hammer attack”
—The Guardian
Ye workers of the world, unite
To put this wrongful ruin right:
Exploited proletarians,
Condemn the guilty hooligans,
Then call, as swiftly as may be,
Your friends among the bourgeoisie,
Who may indeed corroborate
Society’s existing state,
But when it comes to monuments
Will spare no effort or expense.
by Bruce Bennett
Humpity Trumpity
Monomaniacal
Donald goes bonkers in
Quest of his Wall,
Dreams the King’s Soldiers
Will build him a Giant One,
Clambers up nothing and
has a great fall!
by Bruce McGuffin
“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.” — Matt Groening
For you I’ll race my snowmobile
And take the risk that it may heel
Until it tips, and when it flips
I’ll end up as a weasel meal.
by Jan Schreiber
Trump wants a wall. The odds are chancy.
Trump hits a wall. Her name is Nancy.
by Julia Griffin
“A discussion panel at the Davos World Economic Forum has become a sensation after a Dutch historian took billionaires to task for not paying taxes.”—The Guardian
As Davos’ billionaires began
To scratch each other’s backs,
A strange, farouche historian
Leapt up and shouted tax.
“You do not pay enough!” he cried;
A slogan which forthwith
The massed philanthropists denied
As economic myth.
“Pray look around,” they urged him, stunned:
“Behold how much we give!
Our institute! Our special fund!
Our youth initiative!
“We’ve founded schools! Created jobs!
Just read this dossier!”
The ingrate answered, through their sobs:
“Don’t give before you pay.
“Tax, tax, and tax! No more BS!”
This unrefined refrain
Has guaranteed, as you may guess,
He’ll not be asked again,
Until he’s learned that truth the poor
Are so unapt to learn:
You cannot get a tax break for
An IRS return.
by Jerome Betts
“A farmer who became too upset when taking
his lambs to the abattoir gave his flock to an
animal sanctuary.”—BBC
Dear lambs, who skip on soft new sward
And race up grassy hummocks,
The feelings that such sights afford
Leave many in a flummox
As each spring strikes the same old chord
In human souls . . . and stomachs.
by Edmund Conti
Cohen grieves
And Trump is burned
As Mueller leaves
No Stone unturned.
by Jan Schreiber
“A Tiny Screw Shows Why iPhones
Won’t Be ‘Assembled in U.S.A.’”
—New York Times
Jill wants a job,
Jack wants one too,
But Apple wants
A little screw.
Here where the flag’s
Red, white and blue,
No factories make
A little screw.
But search in China:
In Zhengzhou
They’ll fabricate
A little screw.
Want full employment?
Here’s a clue:
Know how to make
A little screw.
More than a billion
(Going on two)
Chinese can thank
A little screw
For jobs that here
Aren’t coming through
For want of just
A little screw.
Jack and Jill wait
Till they turn blue.
Life’s bleak without
A little screw.