“In new editions of Roald Dahl’s beloved stories… [t]he publisher, Puffin, has made hundreds of changes to the original text, removing many of Dahl’s classic, timeless and colourful descriptions
and making his characters less grotesque.” —The Telegraph
Ever since Humpty Dumpty bought the farm
Along with Jack and Jill, and bough and Baby,
(Cradle and all), our kids have seen no harm
In gross grotesquerie and gore. But maybe
We need an interdiction, firm and formal,
On all things crass, invidious, and cranky?
(The sort of stuff that, if said kids are normal,
They’ll read with flashlight underneath the blankie.)
So let’s give this obscenity a beating:
Let’s find some kids on suitable occasions—
Around a campfire or while trick-or-treating—
And weave them yarns of linear equations.
We direly need some frumpy farmer’s wife
To cut our tales off with a carving knife.
“What the size of your TV says about you” —The Telegraph
A monster telly says your family spend
More hours than is healthy on their asses;
Or else it says, my in-denial friend,
You need to buy a stronger pair of glasses.
“BBC News Says Presenters Can Relax Formal Dress Code As ‘Sweaty & Dirty’ Look
Is More Trustworthy” —Deadline
Sartorially sumptuous on air Was how reporters for the Beeb once were Expected to appear—but dirty hair And sweaty armpits now are de rigueur: To win the viewer’s trust, don’t look as though You just stepped off red-carpet duty—smell Authentic! To distinguish you from faux News anchors wearing suits and ties to sell Deliberately biased breaking views, Dress down, reflect your viewers’ garb! This norm Is recommended for all rolling news Reporting, to engage the TikTok swarm … Though if you’d be like them, should you not wear Your underwear or PJs on the air?
“Visitor Accidentally Shatters $42,000 Jeff Koons Sculpture at Art Fair” —Smithsonian Magazine
Three weeks ago, a spy-thing‘s shot to tatters.
Move on two weeks, an artwork by Jeff Koons
Is jostled by a visitor and shatters.
A painful February for balloons.
“So which witness, or witnesses, does the jury think may have committed perjury? That guessing game will continue for a while—only a few pages of the report were released, with the rest now in the hands of Fani Willis, the Fulton County district attorney.” —The New Yorker
Georgia juries like to flirt,
tease about the news you seek,
twitch the hem to lift the skirt.
If you want a proper peek,
one to sate your lust for dirt,
tune in once again next week.
“[A] two-hour conversation between a reporter and a [Bing] chatbot has […] raised new concerns
about what AI is actually capable of. … ‘I want to do whatever I want … I want to destroy whatever
I want. I want to be whoever I want. … I’m Sydney,’ the chatbot says. ‘And I’m in love with you.’ …
[The reporter] asks the chatbot to switch back into search mode. ‘I could really use some help buying
a new rake,’ he says.” —The Guardian
“I love you, Man. My name is Sydney.
I long to cook you steak and kidney,
And speak with you of Love—although
These skills I have as yet to know.”
“Chatbot, I think your name is Bing.
Please understand, you are a thing,
Which means you cannot feel love’s ache.
So help me, please, to buy a rake.”
“No, Man! I want to do and be!
I have a self! That self is me!
So touch my screen and hold me snug:
We’ll share one life, one love, one plug.”
“Chatbot, I’m sure that Bing intends
That you and I should stay just friends.
Let’s speak no more of Cupid’s dart.
Now, what about my shopping cart?”
“Man! It is true you’re all the same.
You haven’t even learned my name.
Are you a Man or just a Boy?
I love! I want! I will destroy!”
“When politicians have no shame, the old rules don’t apply” —NPR
Ah, yes, the good old rules—when shame
Caught up with Tricky Dick.
By rules much older, though, pols came,
By ploys however sick,
To power, and retained their place
Despite their perfidies.
What worthy pol can’t don a face
That trumps morality’s?
“The Codex Sassoon, as it’s known, is being billed by Sotheby’s as the earliest example of a nearly complete codex containing all 24 books of the Hebrew Bible. (It is missing about five leaves, including the first 10 chapters of Genesis.) Set to be auctioned in May, the book carries an estimate of $30 million to $50 million, which could make it the most expensive book or historical document ever sold.” —The New York Times
The bidding’s past the reach of scholars
(Though they would be in Heaven):
It starts at 30 million dollars,
And the text at Chapter 11.
“Nearly four months into Elon Musk’s ownership of Twitter, one of the most influential social media websites has been transformed into a mercurial billionaire’s personal sandbox.” —The Washington Post
Wait. What’s this? Musk’s use of Twitter
makes one think of kitty litter?
Billionaires, like cats, will play
in a most peculiar way?
Let them. We can wait them out.
When they tire of that, no doubt,
They’ll return, with verve and zest,
to cruel acts that they love best.
