by Steven Kent

“Agents seize phone of ex-Trump lawyer who aided effort to overturn election”
—The Guardian

By serving Trump I did the nation’s bidding
So no, I wasn’t acting on my own—
Oh hell, the feds are searching through my phone.
Hey fellas, all that stuff I said? Just kidding!

by Alex Steelsmith

“NATO reaches a deal with Turkey to admit Sweden and Finland.”
—CNBC

“Russia has repeatedly warned Finland… against joining Nato,
saying [there would be] ‘serious military and political consequences.’”
—The Guardian

Finally, Finnally,
Nato’s new applicant
won’t be dissuaded by
Vladimir’s zeal;

though he has threatened to
militaristically
deal with the Finnish, they’ll
finish the deal.

by Philip Kitcher

“I’m in favor, as you know,
of reinstituting Roe,
but I’m sorry I can’t offer you my vote.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.

I admire your plan to muster
votes to change the filibuster—
but McConnell’s got his thumbs around my throat.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.

I hope that you can cobble
an alliance—I must wobble,
(it’s my nature)—yet I cannot turn my coat.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.

I admit I am aggrieved
that Brett Kavanagh deceived,
in the things he said and documents he wrote,
but I’ll never, never, NEVER rock the boat.

I’m distressed that, once again,
women’s wombs are ruled by men—
and it bothers me when Cruz and Hawley gloat.
But I’ll never, never, NEVER rock the boat.”

by Julia Griffin

“That provision [the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment] has been held to guarantee
some rights that are not mentioned in the Constitution, but any such right must be ‘deeply rooted
in this Nation’s history and tradition’ and ‘implicit in the concept of ordered liberty.'”
—Dobbs, slip opinion p. 5 (Opinion of the Court)

The wild Fourteenth Amendment
Reined back to first traditions,
Folk wondered what the trend meant
For other new positions.

Alas, poor spousal promise!
Let’s hope there’s strength still in ya
As Thomas wrestles Thomas
On Loving v. Virginia.

by Brian Allgar

“A swarm of driverless taxis held up traffic for hours at a junction
after one of the first public trials of the technology went wrong.”
—The Telegraph

I called a taxi. To my great surprise,
There was no driver. Rashly, in I hopped,
But soon it halted. Was my choice unwise?
Around us, many other taxis stopped.

Eventually, the traffic jam was cleared,
But though I managed to complete my trip,
I’d missed my assignation, as I feared.
Needless to say, I didn’t leave a tip.

by Steven Kent

“Mystery as Canadian radio station plays Rage Against the Machine song non-stop”
—The Guardian

Hey DJ, can you play my favorite song?
You know the one, man: “Killing in the Name.”
It’s true that my request remains the same
Time after ti—oh damn, I spilled my bong!

I wanna hear it more than once, okay?
Whoa, round-the-clock would suit me to a T!
For weeks to come? You’ll do this just for me?
Dude, 104.9 rocks all the way!

by Dan Campion

“The Shrinking of the Middle-Class Neighborhood:
Americans are increasingly living in areas that are either much richer
or much poorer than the regional norm.”
—The New York Times

It hatched from fixed-rate spreadsheets, Doc,
But shape-shifts neighborhoods,
The Blob that’s oozing, block by block,
And smears out worldly goods

So some get tons and others none,
And those once in between
Grow fewer—Doc, before it’s done
We’ll see a dreadful scene!

How can we fight back? Light? Heat? Ice?
New magic from your lab?
Says Doc, Don’t ask for my advice,
My house is pressed prefab.

by Peter Desmond

“As Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ law takes effect,
schools roll out LGBTQ restrictions”
—NBC News

A spectrum haunts the Sunshine State.
It can’t face facts:
A rainbow is the way the light refracts.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“NHS trials using drones to deliver chemotherapy drugs”
—BBC News

A normal drone, it couldn’t cope
With all the weight of all my dope—
You’d have to use a freighter.

And when the freighter dropped the gear
I’d need a friendly mountaineer
To fetch it from the crater.

by David Galef

(with apologies to Wallace Stevens)

“Ohio State University has officially registered a trademark for the word “THE”
after a nearly three-year battle to clinch legal branding access to a word
that’s deeply meaningful to the school’s overall identity.”
—CNN

If we’re teaching articles,
Both definite and in-
Ohio State’s the school to watch:
It’s trademarked one wherein

The letters T and H and E
Are legal in their name.
The news alone will guarantee
The the achieves some fame.

by Shaun Jex

“The Star Wars Hyperspace Lounge on [a Disney cruise ship] has a $5,000 Kaiburr Crystal drink”
—Journalist Ashley Carter

Higitus figitus
Gaius Germanicus
Wasted Rome’s money on
Parties and such

But upon learning of
Disney’s new beverage
Said with a gasp “Well now
That’s a bit much…”

by Paul Lander

Ten Downing for rent
As Boris Johnson resigns.
Now that’s a Borxit.

by Julia Griffin

“The World Can’t Believe Americans Are Only Just Discovering Kettles,
As They Mock NY Times Article”
—Network 10

A saucepan serving as a kettle
Is just a mad misuse of metal.
What makes me really rant and rave?
A teacup in a microwave.
This week it somehow hit the Press
How things are done in the US:
World can’t believe! the newsroom cries;
To me, it came as no surprise.
Round here,* where taste’s in deep eclipse,
A kettle’s used for roasting chips,
And even when not wrecked with ice,
Earl Grey’s luke warm, which is not nice.
Americans! It’s not your bag?
You think it violates the flag?
Don’t drink it! Throw it in the sea!
But with no kettle, tea’s not tea.

*In the author’s adopted home in the state of Georgia

by Dan Campion

“Ketanji Brown Jackson Becomes First Black Female Supreme Court Justice . . .
Justice Jackson encountered deep resistance among Republicans on Capitol Hill . . .”
—The New York Times

After two hundred thirty-two years
A Black Female Justice appears.
With grace and persistence
She met “deep resistance”
After two hundred thirty-two years.

by Nora Jay

“With the June 24 decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, which overturns the landmark
1973 abortion decision in Roe v. Wade, the doctrine of stare decisis has fueled debate over the extent
to which the U.S. Supreme Court is bound by legal precedent. Former Associate Justice Lewis Powell once remarked:
‘The elimination of constitutional stare decisis would represent an explicit endorsement of the idea that the Constitution
is nothing more than what five justices say it is.’”
—American Bar Association

Stare, stare night:
Paint your palette full of blues:
Makes no difference what you choose—
It only shows the darkness in your soul;

Brightness on the Hill;
Sketch Pelosi feeling ill;
You’re not cheering? Carlson will,
In chorus with his Foxy-holy band.

Now I understand
What a justice ought to be:
How they regulate society,
Pushing guns to set us free;
They only listen to themselves: that’s how
The law’s decided now.

Stare, stare night:
Party picks who walk the line,
Shameless heads, no more than nine,
With eyes that watch the world they’re turning back

Like those strangers who just yak
On the glories of those days, thought dead,
When men were men and women bred,
And kids could buy a gun but not a drink;

Now I know, I think,
What began with Bush v. Gore;
What McConnell’s long been waiting for,
And what else may be in store.
We cannot stop them, we are helpless still;
Perhaps our children will.