by Chris O’Carroll
“Some $2 trillion has vanished from the market value of cryptocurrencies . . .
Bitcoin has already lost more than two-thirds of its value . . . “
—Fortune
Crypto’s arc: initial splash,
Bullish bubble, epic crash.
Naked emperor’s outta cash.
“Good friends enjoy a tussle—
there’s no need to get cross.
I like to flex my muscle,
and show my pals who’s boss.
Let’s keep our country healthy—
it is a worthy goal—
but recognize we’re wealthy
because of oil and coal.
Forget the gloomy prophets—
they always disagree—
(and let those handsome profits
keep flowing in to me).”
by Alex Steelsmith
“Young supporters of the climate action group Just Stop Oil have launched a series of protests at prestigious art institutions
in the UK, gluing themselves to artworks… [T]wo campaigners glued themselves to the frame of ‘Peach Trees in Blossom’,
a Vincent Van Gogh from 1889… [One activist said]: ‘As a kid I used to love this painting. My dad took me to see it
when we visited London. I still love this painting…’”
—Upstream
Bondily-fondily,
self-affixed protestors
touting the curious
plan they had hatched
said they had chosen an
iconographical
artwork to which they were
very attached.
by Julia Griffin
“A leaked trove of confidential files has revealed the inside story of how the tech giant Uber flouted laws,
duped police, exploited violence against drivers and secretly lobbied governments during its aggressive global expansion.”
—The Guardian
„Todt sind alle Götter: nun wollen wir, dass der Übermensch lebe.“— …
—Also sprach Zarathustra, Nietzsche
“The gods are all dead,” Zarathustra foresaw,
“And it’s Übermensch time!” Well, we bought it:
And the Über deceived the police, broke the law,
Bribed, bullied, and lied. Who’d have thought it?
by Dan Campion
“Astronomers detect a radio ‘heartbeat’ billions of light-years from Earth”
—MIT News
Boom, boom, boom, boom, the heartbeat goes.
Just what it is, no boffin knows,
While amateurs like me suppose
It’s Welles back on our radios.
by Steven Urquhart Bell
“It’s nearly my mid-life birthday…”
—Scotland on Sunday
I told my friends and family and everyone I know
To not make any fuss although it is the big five-oh.
It’s not that big a milestone. I’m not a bloody prince.
The bastards took me at my word. We haven’t spoken since.
—The Chronicle Of Higher Education
by Bruce Bennett
Is Twitter what’s making us “stupid and mean”?
Why bother with arguments? Go to the scene.
Check out what your colleagues have said about you.
Then trash them with tweets that are vicious, but true!
by Jerome Betts
“An ill-timed pinch by a man named Pincher meant the end
for British Prime Minister Boris Johnson…”
—New York Post
Cliff-hanger, true, an inch-by-incher,
After, inebriated, Pincher
Left MPs groping for the clincher.
The piglet’s hide was thickly greased
But now they’ve seized the shameless beast!
(Its fairground act, though, not quite ceased.)
At last, it seems, we can breathe free
And trust that we shall never see
A PM worse than Johnson, B.?
No, all is not yet hunky-dory.
Although Fate’s closed his horror story,
Whoever’s next will still be Tory!
by Steven Kent
“Agents seize phone of ex-Trump lawyer who aided effort to overturn election”
—The Guardian
By serving Trump I did the nation’s bidding
So no, I wasn’t acting on my own—
Oh hell, the feds are searching through my phone.
Hey fellas, all that stuff I said? Just kidding!
by Alex Steelsmith
“NATO reaches a deal with Turkey to admit Sweden and Finland.”
—CNBC
“Russia has repeatedly warned Finland… against joining Nato,
saying [there would be] ‘serious military and political consequences.’”
—The Guardian
Finally, Finnally,
Nato’s new applicant
won’t be dissuaded by
Vladimir’s zeal;
though he has threatened to
militaristically
deal with the Finnish, they’ll
finish the deal.
by Philip Kitcher
“I’m in favor, as you know,
of reinstituting Roe,
but I’m sorry I can’t offer you my vote.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.
I admire your plan to muster
votes to change the filibuster—
but McConnell’s got his thumbs around my throat.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.
I hope that you can cobble
an alliance—I must wobble,
(it’s my nature)—yet I cannot turn my coat.
I shall never, never, NEVER rock the boat.
I admit I am aggrieved
that Brett Kavanagh deceived,
in the things he said and documents he wrote,
but I’ll never, never, NEVER rock the boat.
I’m distressed that, once again,
women’s wombs are ruled by men—
and it bothers me when Cruz and Hawley gloat.
But I’ll never, never, NEVER rock the boat.”
by Julia Griffin
“That provision [the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment] has been held to guarantee
some rights that are not mentioned in the Constitution, but any such right must be ‘deeply rooted
in this Nation’s history and tradition’ and ‘implicit in the concept of ordered liberty.'”
—Dobbs, slip opinion p. 5 (Opinion of the Court)
The wild Fourteenth Amendment
Reined back to first traditions,
Folk wondered what the trend meant
For other new positions.
Alas, poor spousal promise!
Let’s hope there’s strength still in ya
As Thomas wrestles Thomas
On Loving v. Virginia.
by Brian Allgar
“A swarm of driverless taxis held up traffic for hours at a junction
after one of the first public trials of the technology went wrong.”
—The Telegraph
I called a taxi. To my great surprise,
There was no driver. Rashly, in I hopped,
But soon it halted. Was my choice unwise?
Around us, many other taxis stopped.
Eventually, the traffic jam was cleared,
But though I managed to complete my trip,
I’d missed my assignation, as I feared.
Needless to say, I didn’t leave a tip.
by Steven Kent
“Mystery as Canadian radio station plays Rage Against the Machine song non-stop”
—The Guardian
Hey DJ, can you play my favorite song?
You know the one, man: “Killing in the Name.”
It’s true that my request remains the same
Time after ti—oh damn, I spilled my bong!
I wanna hear it more than once, okay?
Whoa, round-the-clock would suit me to a T!
For weeks to come? You’ll do this just for me?
Dude, 104.9 rocks all the way!
by Dan Campion
“The Shrinking of the Middle-Class Neighborhood:
Americans are increasingly living in areas that are either much richer
or much poorer than the regional norm.”
—The New York Times
It hatched from fixed-rate spreadsheets, Doc,
But shape-shifts neighborhoods,
The Blob that’s oozing, block by block,
And smears out worldly goods
So some get tons and others none,
And those once in between
Grow fewer—Doc, before it’s done
We’ll see a dreadful scene!
How can we fight back? Light? Heat? Ice?
New magic from your lab?
Says Doc, Don’t ask for my advice,
My house is pressed prefab.