by Steven Kent

“Get Ready for a Scary Fortnight in French Politics:
A Le Pen Presidency Really Is Possible”
—The Guardian

This cannot happen here, we say, but maybe we don’t mean it;
Macron has lost the luster he once had.
As pressure keeps on building from the Right (you must have seen it),
Zemmour makes Miss Le Pen look not so bad.

A kinder, gentler radical she’s trying hard to be now—
Pure fascist, yes, though with a human face.
She’ll ship these stinking immigrants to camps far from Paree now,
But with a touch of elegance and grace.

by Bruce Bennett

“‘Sorry our baby might ruin your flight. Please accept this goodie bag.’
Kind gesture or unreasonable expectation? The public is divided.”
—The Washington Post

Baby’s crying? Never mind.
In this little pack you’ll find
items that will make all right.
Use them and enjoy your flight.

What’s that? You don’t mind the kid?
What you mind is what I did?
You take umbrage at my treat?
Screw you! You can change your seat!

by Julia Griffin

“Arkansas man who awoke from 19-year coma in 2003 has died aged 57”
—The Guardian

From 1965, he saw
The waking world till ’84,
Then fell asleep, aged just nineteen,
Until ’03. How fresh and green
He was for one of thirty-eight!
He revelled in his wakeful state
With eager eyes; alas, time flew;
And all too soon, in ’22,
They closed for good—a poignant fact—
At fifty-seven. Now subtract:
A wondrous symmetry appears!
(Poor prize to him, one rather fears).

by Chris O’Carroll

He gave the Aflac duck its quack
Till earthquake jokes got him the sack.
Even a terrorist attack
Was punchline grist. He had a knack
For jokes that caught a lot of flak.
He found wisecracks in everything.
Some say that’s how the light gets in.

by Dan Campion

This case, which cops have yet to solve,
Just proves a conscience can evolve.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Limping Pope Francis arrives in Malta”
—Scotland on Sunday

I thought it was his nickname when I read it,
Like Ageless Archie Moore or Tampa Red,
Then realized it was just a careless edit:
“A Limping Pope…” is what it should have said.

I sort of laughed—not what you’d call stentorian—
Then turned the pages: trouble heaped on trouble.
Interesting times, all right—for a historian;
Not so much while picking through the rubble.

The world could use a period of grace.
If Francis kneels to pray before the rood
Whenever something bad or dumb takes place,
No wonder that the poor guy’s knees are screwed.

by Clyde Always

“Wind energy company kills 150 eagles in US, pleads guilty”
—Associated Press

Raptory, Snaptory,
NextEra Energy
proved to the public (in
so many words)

harnessing wind would be
environmentally
friendly if only it
weren’t for the birds.

by Bruce Bennett

“’Very rarely do magpies attack more than one or two people,’ said Darryl Jones, a magpie expert
at Griffith University. ‘It’s the same individual people that they attack each time.’
And magpies have long memories: One of Dr. Jones’s research assistants was attacked upon his return after 15 years
away from one bird’s territory. As Sean Dooley, the public affairs manager of Birdlife Australia, put it,
‘If you think it’s personal, you’re right.’”
—The New York Times

Don’t trifle with a magpie.
He will not soon forget.
He’ll wait till you come back again,
and then you will regret

Whatever caused his grievance.
They’re vengeful and they’re smart.
A bird—okay, I’ll say it—
who’s after my own heart.

by Julia Griffin

“112m-year-old dinosaur tracks damaged in Utah by construction machinery”
—The Guardian

(with apologies to Thomas Hardy)

I
In a solitude of the clay,
Where cattle do not stray,
Nor those great beasts that made them, sadly crumble they.

II
A site once marked by hops
From some triceratops
Now ranks among earth’s palaeontologic flops.

III
One hundred million years
You’d think would leave some smears;
But all was well until last Tuesday, it appears.

IV
The length of time between
The birth of this machine
And that of all those giant lizards – well, I mean

V
It isn’t quite the same;
But still the moment came
When trucks hit tracks, which was a quite titanic shame.

by Nina Parmenter

In Northern Minnesota, researchers are conducting Covid tests on bears, deer, moose and even wolves
to try to predict the emergence of new variants.

We don’t flinch if we sneeze, we don’t test if we cough.
Got a fever? No sweat! Masks are off!
But it’s different for doe, as they do give a fuck,
and I bet you can’t bullshit a buck.
So it’s clear, now that humans aren’t feeling the fear…
swab a deer.

We do not have the time for that second red line!
Got a cough like a donkey? You’re fine!
But the battle-scarred beasts of the woods, one supposes,
have always put trust in their noses.
Grab the bull by the horns! Now mankind is no use,
swab a moose.

by Bruce Bennett

“Mr. Thompson also indicated that the panel would not be likely to call Mr. Trump as a witness.
‘I don’t know anything else we could ask Donald Trump that the public doesn’t already know,’
Mr. Thompson said. ‘He ran his mouth for four years.’”
—The New York Times

He “ran his mouth.”
It all got said.
We know his heart.
We know his head.

He did those things
that he does best.
That record’s there.
He flushed the rest.

by Alex Steelsmith

“Several hundred Russian soldiers were forced to hastily withdraw from the Chernobyl nuclear power plant
in Ukraine after suffering ‘acute radiation sickness’… [T]he Russian soldiers had panicked and fled.”
—The Daily Beast

“U.S.-backed Radio Free Europe sees audience surge… After Russian troops began their assault…
[Radio Free Europe’s] audience boomed in Russia.”
—The Spokesman-Review

Panicky manicky
Vladimir’s infantry,
radioactively
compromised, freaks;

news of the incident
drifts into Russia in
radio-actively
broadcasted leaks.

by Susan McLean

One can’t retract
what’s done in haste
when lack of tact
meets lack of taste.

When Will, unchecked,
attacked Chris Rock,
they both were decked
by the aftershock.

by Alex Steelsmith

“Russian generals are getting killed at an extraordinary rate… Russian officials and Russian media
have confirmed the death of only one… Russia is highly sensitive about military casualties,
in particular involving senior officers.”
—The Washington Post

Willity-nillity,
Putin’s top generals
frequently perish, but
Russia won’t say

even obliquely that
militaristically
something’s not right in a
General way.

by Julia Griffin

“A robot made of magnetic slime could be deployed inside the body to perform tasks
such as retrieving objects swallowed by accident.”
—New Scientist on Twitter

“[It] could be useful in the digestive system, for example in reducing the harm from a small
swallowed battery.”
—The Guardian

A robot of magnetic slime
Could shortly be deployed
Inside the body. Well, it’s time;
What use is all that void

Internal space among the nerves
And bones and neurocoeles?
You’ll say it gets what it deserves
With accidental meals,

Like hangnails swallowed by default,
Or gum or tiny keys
Or polystyrene (great with salt),
Or salted batteries;

But let’s express our thanks instead
For living at a time
In which we may be safely fed
With smart magnetic slime.