“McDonald’s says it has pulled milkshakes from the menu in all 1,250 of its British restaurants
because of supply problems stemming from a shortage…” —AP News
“Spotted: Cow at a McDonald’s drive-through in Wisconsin… Jessica Nelson… looked up to see a cow
in the backseat of a Buick sedan three cars ahead of her.” —AP News
Hi-ho the dairy-o,
fast-food establishments
faced with a shortage of
milkshakes are now
quick to encourage an
improvisational
milk-source alternative:
Bring Your Own Cow.
“Nirvana’s famous naked baby SUES band for child pornography:
Man – now aged 30 – who appeared on iconic cover of 1991 Nevermind album
claims $2.5m damages.” —Daily Mail
He was wet, he was young, it was sunny.
Decades older, he thinks it’s not funny
That his schnitzel was shown
To buy grunge a new throne
So he’s still swimming after the money.
“Roger Federer’s Biggest Legacy? It Might Be His Billion-dollar Brand” —The New York Times
Oh sure, I love the game, but understand
It’s how I got myself to this tax bracket.
My life’s gone even better than I planned—
I’ve really got a handle on this racket.
Low tide drew pilgrims to the hallowed isle An abbot, Aidan, founded long ago, Recruiting souls with missionary guile, Redeeming those once bound for down below … Years later, Lindisfarne’s a tourist trap. Last week it met Walt Disney in disguise, A garish green and yellow landtrain chap Named Larry, whose new shuttle enterprise Dishonoured Lindisfarne—a place of peace, Tranquillity and awe, not Disney fun, Riled locals screeched! Their squeaky wheels got grease, And Larry’s froze, his trial run undone … It seems that locals still share Aidan’s goal: No landtrain’s welcome if it has no soul!
“‘There’s a trend in New York right now where people are wearing merch: carrying totes
from local delis, hardware stores or their favorite steakhouse…’ It turns out the wholehearted
embrace of cotton totes may actually have created a new problem. An organic cotton tote needs to be
used 20,000 times to offset its overall impact of production.”
—The New York Times
In Brooklyn Heights the height of haute couture includes a cotton tote
with logos from a local shop—
but soon, some say, this fad must stop.
The carbon cost of growing cotton
offsets what gains the world has gotten
from cutting back on cheapo plastic.
Today the true iconoclastic
shopper won’t use bags at all
but just bare arms—although, recall
those local shops whose names adorned
the bags. Must these boutiques be scorned?
No! They’ll be thrilled to offer you
a free, on-brand, bespoke tattoo.
“Paris’ Arc De Triomphe Wrapped In Silver Blue And Red: Christo’s Posthumous Ephemeral Masterpiece” —Forbes
Pourquoi? … We avifauna who reside On L’Arc de Triomphe ask why sleep at home Should be disturbed by scaffolding, applied To wrap our city home in polychrome! Have we not heard it from a little bird Up here, last year, that Christo passed away? Must we, despite that, still endure this herd Of loud disruptive engineers, all day, Unfurling fabric over our high-rise, Surrounding it with silvers, reds and blues? … We birds can drop some hints to teach these guys Respect—for our abode, and right to snooze! … And that’s why, once the wrapping crew are through, Parisian birds rewrap the wrap—in poo!
“I don’t know what showbiz is and I’ve never watched MTV.” —Charlie Watts
He’s drumming now with Elvin Jones,
Max Roach, Art Blakey, Buddy Rich,
In jazz’s blue celestial zones,
And after that unruly hitch
With rock and roll, his grin serene
Syncs with this cool, long-playing scene.
