Poems of the Week

Mermanity

by Ruth S. Baker

“It’s believed that Christopher Columbus—yes, that Columbus—mistook manatees for mermaids on one of his journeys to the Americas in 1493. Columbus was a bit taken aback, though, and told others that the mermaids were not as beautiful as they were said to be because ‘their faces had some masculine traits.’”
—Gizmodo

It’s thought that Columbus—yes that one—mistook
Two mammals we’d hardly confuse should we look;
A watery sleekness, a flash of a fin,
Would not, you’d imagine, take anyone in,
But let’s not forget that La Pinta & Co.
Had been on the ocean for months in a row,
With no one to look at but slovenly men;
And so, when strange swimmers appeared in his ken,
Columbus, misled by his hopes and environs,
Accepted the finny conundrums as sirens,
Though taken aback, or aghast, or astir,
On marking how mannish those manatees were.

Schwandt Family Plus (an acrostic)

by Eddie Aderne

“Michigan couple with 14 sons finally has a daughter”
The Guardian

So Jay begat Tyler, with thanks to Kateri,
Conceiver supreme, quickly pregnant with Zach;
He soon was big brother to Drew (was it scary?);
When Brandon appeared, they were almost a pack,
And then a quintet, on the entry of Tommy;
Next off there was Vinny—just briefly the babe:
Demoted when Calvin laid claim to his mommy.
This wasn’t to last. He was followed by Gabe,
Forerunner of Wesley (methodically christened);
Additional Charlie (more cheerful, less stern)
Made ten: a good limit, had Luke only listened.
In twelfth place, see Tucker, tucked up in his turn.
Last out came Francisco—no! wrong once again:
Young Finley, concluding this masculine train—

+ now (spare a thought for her): Miss Maggie Jayne.

The Elephants’ Graveyard

by Ed Shacklee

The worm had turned. Poor pachyderms—the last to learn their plight,
they’d pawned their tusks to kooks and crooks who told them who to fight,
plus most had tumbled over, having tilted to the right.

Blinded by the spotlight in the centermost of rings
while doing tricks for peanuts as their owners pulled the strings,
they’d left the jungle long ago where they had once been kings.

Yet, “How I miss the circus!” said the fattest one, who wept.
“Do you recall the hoops through which the limber leopards leapt,
and poop from painted ponies, here, before the grounds were swept?

“But tigers turned to pussy cats, and are no longer feared,
the lady is no lady now that she has lost her beard,
and wind creeps through our giant tent where once the rubes had cheered.

“The clown whose smile is painted on became his final joke,
the lion tamer found the tame were hungry when they woke,
and men who swallowed swords and flames are bloody stubs and smoke.

“The muscle man grew musclebound. The minute men are late:
the rubber man from India who swore that he’d go straight
is off to parts unknown if he can wriggle through the gate.

“Our acrobats have fallen flat, their leaps of faith gone sour.
The witless human cannonballs all hit the ivory tower,
and girls at whom the knives were thrown reward us with a glower.

“The fortune teller reads the cards we’d marked—her head is bowed.
The barkers give up barking at our dwindling, swindled crowd,
while spiders man the ticket booth and weave a mocking shroud;

“and so, although we used to crow while trumpeting our glory,
we’re off to seek the graveyard at the end of every story,
but not before I leave the donkeys this memento mori:

“Dethroned, debunked, I’ll pack my trunk—yet everything must pass,
and those who’ve yearned for unicorns might learn that you’re an ass,
the last to know your nose will grow among the upper class.”

The Mad Red-Hatter Tweets from the Rabbit Hole

by Bob McKenty

I demand a recount
In states I didn’t win.
Only votes for me count
(Reject the ones mailed in).

I register objection
When balloting’s remote.
It’s not a fair election:
They’re counting every vote!

Mirror In The Loo

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“A very royal throne! Stunned family learn mirror hanging in their downstairs loo
for 40 years once belonged to last queen of France Marie Antoinette…”

Daily Mail

Marie, Marie, before you lost your head,
In me you looked to see your pretty face.
Resentment of the Bourbons had not spread.
Republicans had not yet smeared your grace …
One day you said to me: “Dear Mirror, pray,
Reveal to me why lies breed like a fly.
I never said, ‘Let them eat cake.’ No way!
No diamond necklace did I ever buy!” …
Too late I warned: The tumbril’s on its way.
Heads roll each day beneath the guillotine.
Escape while you still can! … But let me say—
Lest you get caught—You’ll always be my queen! …
Old mirrors are well known not to disown:
Oh, how you’re honored still beside this throne!

News Item

by J.D. Smith

“Subway train lands on whale’s tail statue”
CNN

A plastic whale’s tail stops a train
Two floors above the street,
Suggesting that—if not all art—
Life imitates Magritte.

Winning the Web

by Julia Griffin

“Huge spider assumed extinct in Britain discovered on MoD training site”
The Guardian

Huge spider thought extinct appears on army training site—
Which, by the standards of this year,’s a cause of real delight.

The Kylinxia

by Dan Campion

“A 520-million-year-old, five-eyed fossil reveals arthropod origin”
PHYS.org

Such “shrimp-like” creatures with five eyes
From eons past reveal,
Besides the source of mites and flies,
Why few of them appeal.

The State of Things

by Bruce Bennett

(11/6/20 11:15 AM)

The crazies are out and about.
They demonstrate, threaten, and shout.
I’m going to stay in
And hope that we win—
Though that will change nothing, no doubt.

The President’s off on a tear.
He’s scaring all those he can scare.
He figures, I’ll try it.
If I cause a riot,
Hell! all of my folks will be there.

I can’t see the future. It’s dim.
It’s perilous, murky, and grim.
There’s much to go through.
But one thing is true.
There’s hope, if we get rid of him!

If This Be Treason

by Thomas DeFreitas

Call me a snowflake, libtard, pinko,
But I won’t miss Cuarenta y Stinko.

Chain Mail Men

by Julia Griffin

“100 Million Ballots, But Experts Say ‘Heaven And Earth’ Being Moved For Election Mail”
NPR

The clerks are working overtime; the drivers strive all night,
The postmen’s sacks half break their backs; no part of this is light.
They need strong will, strategic skill, and also lots of luck:
For revving Heaven’s easy but this Earth seems truly stuck.

The Electorate: 2020

by Bruce Bennett

Loons are screaming on the lake,
a scary sound, for Heaven’s sake,
but far less scary than the sound
of screaming loons from all around.

No Michigation

by Nora Jay

“Michigan court sides with gun advocates to reverse firearm ban at polls …
‘I feel like I need to have my gun at all times,’ said Jim Makowski, an attorney
representing plaintiffs in the suit against the secretary of state. …

Makowski said Michiganders are already protected by state law …
With such protections in place, he said there’s “no reason or justification
for [Benson’s] legal order,’ which he labeled ‘political’.

The Guardian

“I feel,” said Jim Makowski,
I need my gun. It’s critical
At all times, like a housekey;
And banning it’s political.”

Assessing this with candor,
I see debate’s no use.
Behold the Michigander:
A macho Michigoose.

Les Misérables

by Dan Campion

“Hundreds of Trump supporters stuck on freezing cold Omaha airfield after rally, 7 taken to hospitals”
NBC News

Don leaves supporters in the cold;
They shouldn’t be surprised.
The sick, the poor, the meek, the old—
They’re plainly his despised:

If you don’t own a limousine
Or fly on Air Force One,
You’re just a blip across his screen,
Then frozen out, my son,

And, hypothermic daughter, you
Are also on his Z-list.
So, welcome to the canned-heat crew.
Is that frostbite thou feelest?

Shower Power

by Iris Herriot

“Man arrested after showering commuters with money from 30th-floor window”
The Guardian

Was anybody bruised or stunned or shocked into a seizure
Or, blind with falling paper, crushed by cars to paraplegia?
Well, maybe; but for all we know his record as offender
Is limited to harmless rains of wholly legal tender;
So if conclusions must be drawn, I offer only these:
Humanity’s perverse and quite impossible to please.